On my grandmother’s passing and newspaper obituaries

Today is 23rd April 2023. A day after my grandmother’s passing. This note I made from 5 years ago has reached its maturity. We will now say our goodbyes to our dear Ammachi while others like her ponder on that certain page on the newspaper 🙁

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Nothing exposes the individualism and self-absorption of my generation like this one habit by our grandparents and their generation. Growing up in the city and seeing the effects of the nuclear family, I’ve been often challenged by my late grandfather and my grandmother by how much time they spend reading the obituary column in the local newspaper. This is not just a peripheral glance or an awkward habit, but a genuine interest in people in thier extended family and the community at large. In fact, several newspapers are saved in houses because of the precious 1 inch photos they carry in them.
This morning I saw my grandmother doing her usual routine but as she was reading, she was also waiting and looking from the window up to the road eagerly waiting to have a quick look at a hearse to pass by. A lady at a neighbourhood had passed away recently. My grandmother desperately wanted to go for the funeral but her health didn’t allow for it. As frail as she is, ammachi literally spent the first half of her day by the window looking at the entire community gather for the funeral. Over the years, my wife has repeated how it’s more meaningful to go for a funeral than for a wedding.
The sooner, we all learn this lesson, the better.

Kerala, May 2018.